I've been wondering what to write about, seeing as most of my stories are about how God shows himself in this world and I've been wondering where He's showing himself in the last couple of months. Tonight, as I began to read my new adventure, St. Therese of Lisieux's The Story of a Soul I finally realized I knew EXACTLY what I needed to write...but I'm getting a head of myself. Rewind to October...to be specific, October 13.
It was a Tuesday - I had slept in and although I was supposed to be at work by 8:30am, I had some wiggle room on my 'in' time since I was outside sales and could be out of the office to run errands and have appointments. On that morning I figured I needed to go to the post office to mail a catalogue to one of my clients - meaning I could sleep in for an extra half hour. As I drove from the post office to the office that morning, I remembered something one of the young women in my bible study had said about making sure she prayer in the morning before work - she always could tell that she received the needed graces at work when she took the time for the Lord before work. So that morning, already late, I decided to pull over on the side of the road, about a block or two away from work, and pray my decade. And Mary KNEW that I needed it that morning.
After being at my desk for about 30 minutes, I got called in to Jim's office (our HR guy)...and that was the morning that I joined the ranks of the unemployed for the remainder of 2009! Let's just say that God knew I needed that time in prayer because he gave me the graces I needed to move forward from the news I received that morning. With a little bit of relief, peace and a heavy heart, I left the office that day to continue on my journey in some other capacity. It's been an up and down road these last 2 months...some days loving that I don't have a job, others crying to the Lord asking him how he expects me to do this! And still other days, I envy those around me with options, choices, jobs, money, rings...the list goes on.
It wasn't until Christmas Eve that I started to put together a piece of the puzzle that I hadn't thought about yet. As Ben and I walked in the door of him family's Christmas party we were greeted by his father's family...the sisters, the nieces, the kids. Ben's always great at family gatherings - especially his own; but I noticed, that evening, Ben's care and attention for the souls around him. When Ben sees people he knows he makes a point to acknowledge them, care for what they are saying in the moment and love them in a way that I haven't seen any men do.
So it wasn't a surprise when one of his cousins, Chrissy looked elated to see him. With baby on hip she greeted us with a smile. The beautiful 3-month-old rested in such a natural and comfortable spot on her mother's hip that I would have told you that Chrissy was a natural mother - probably mother to some of the other children that were running around. Upon sitting down at the Christmas table and paying closer attention I realized that Chrissy was no older than me, maybe even younger. Though on first glance she looked like she could be 30, it was apparent that Chrissy had a child as a product of a decision...a decision she was too young to make. And when I see the outcome of that decision, I have to remember that it could have been me.
As I was sitting there trying to figure out her story, I realized that God was apparent not only in her decision, but also in that moment of judgement for me. In my unemployment, I have thrown myself into grabbing hold of virtues and practices and trying more and more to imitate Christ and model myself after Mother Mary. It was in seeing Chrissy across the dinner table that I realized her story, and this moment in it, where all there to serve God in great glory and to call both of us to greater virtue. How boring would it be if her story were exactly like mine or even blander still, if she was perfect...where would we see the straight line that God drew from the crooked ones if she were perfect.
St. Therese too, after joining the convent, contemplated the differences in people's paths:
"I understood that all the flowers that He created are beautiful. The brilliance of the rose and the whiteness of the lily don't take away from the perfume of the lowly violet or the delightful simplicity of the daisy...I understood that if all the little flowers wanted to be roses, nature would lose its springtime adornment, and the fields would no longer be sprinkled with little flowers...So it is in the world of souls, which if Jesus' garden. He wanted to create great saints who could be compared to lilies and roses. But He also created little ones, and these ought to be content to be daisies or violets destined to gladden God's eyes when He glances down at His feet. Perfection consists in doing His will, in being what He wants us to be..."
And in this same way, I have learned, especially in this season of Advent, that I am to be faithful to this spot in life God has put me...whether it be unemployment, as a sister, in a relationship, or asking for Him to show me my next step. "Perfection consists in doing His will, in being what He wants us to be" right St. Therese???
It may seem silly, but I do believe that St Therese of Lisieux is praying for me and God is calling me at this time when I'm 24 (since St Therese died when she was 24) to study and pray with this Saint of the Child Jesus and the Holy Face as a way of living faithfully the small things that I have been given by Our Lord.
And so without further ado, I title the 2nd part of 24, as The Story of a 24-Year-Old.
