Is it worth it?

Yesterday I was introduced to the circus called the Arapahoe County Court system! One January day when it was slushy and snowy outside, my car caught some snow and out of my control ran off the road and into a neighbor's fence. Long story short, the police came and wrote me a ticket for "careless driving" and sentenced me to a morning at the Arapahoe County Courts on March 16 at 8:30am. As I started out the day waiting in the security line to enter the building, I reminded myself, "There are no lines in Heaven. There are no courts in Heaven. There are no traffic violations and tickets in Heaven..."

Regardless if you think I'm to blame for careless driving or if you believe that the snow and slush played a part in the broken fence post (yes just one), I believed that my experience yesterday was far from JUST in the judicial courts! I'll spare you most of the details, besides the verdict (or pending verdict): the ticket was knocked down to a "unauthorized driver driving the vehicle" - a zero point ticket - but I am required to work off the 2 points at 16 hours of community service. I have another court appearance where they will asses the fine (probably $75) AND I have to pay $50 to do my community service - which I think was the salt in the wound!

I felt like one of those poor balls that gets juggled by the clowns moving from one court official to the next. Not to mention the jumping of hoops between legal terminology, court rooms, waiting lines, and floors. By the end (well maybe more like the middle), I was upset with the system. I correct myself, I was DOWN RIGHT PISSED OFF! I was one of those obnoxious people that voiced her opinion in the elevator bank, in the hallway between rooms, in the waiting room with others [including the staff] to hear my complaints. Yes I was THAT person yesterday.

After a good afternoon nap and a relaxing night with my boyfriend, I calmed down to realize that everything that I thought so awful in the morning was wearing off of me. I came to terms with the outcome of the day and realized that I probably acted childish.

Fast forward 1 good night's sleep and a cup of tea, and I was sitting in the favorite sunken spot on my couch doing morning prayers this morning. Today's passage: Romans 8:9-25. But it only took until verse 17 for me to realize my mistakes yesterday.

St. Paul writes to the Romans about sin and the Spirit which has set us free from sin. One idea struck me in a new and different way this morning. I read, "You received God's Spirit when he adopted you as his own children...And since we are his children, we are his heirs. In fact, together with Christ we are heirs of God's glory." [v.15&17]

So if we know some theology we know that when Christ was risen he received the Kingdom of Heaven and earth to reign over. Christ is now the King of the Father's Kingdom...what a great gift for a Father to give his son [considering on earth the only way a son inherits the father's kingdom is when the father dies]. And if Christ, the Almighty Father's son, received the Kingdom as his inheritance because he was an heir, than we as adopted children of God shall also receive, out of the Father's great love for us, a portion of that Kingdom. In other words, St. Paul says, "together with Christ we are heirs of God's glory" because God's Kingdom is his glory.

I was astonished! We, earthly people, full of sin, clothed with sinful nature, are made a new with the Spirit of adoption because of love AND get to share in God's glory! What person, can say that they have been a part of something that great during their life on earth? I mean, there are some great things on earth, but to be a part of the creator's glory...now that's OUT OF THIS WORLD! :-)

But it gets better, the next verse hit like a nail to the heart: "BUT, if we are to share his glory, we must also share his suffering." S%$#, [excuse the expletive], but that's hard to digest. We get to share in his glory, sure, but we ALSO have to share in his suffering [nothing comes without a price]...and maybe that suffering doesn't look like death on a cross, it might just look like the Arapahoe County Courthouse! That suffering might look like taking punishment that I don't feel I deserve. That suffering might look like loving those that I feel are using the law against me. That suffering might look like NOT speaking my ungracious opinion for others not involved to hear.

In regards to my behavior, I was unworthy yesterday to be wearing my silver charm bracelet with 12 different crosses on it. I am ashamed that I was calling myself a Christian yesterday. I'm embarrassed that anyone who saw me did not see my life as trying to imitate Christ's. I'm humiliated that anyone who heard my words did not hear the hope of Christ's coming Kingdom.

In the end, rather than reminding myself about no lines in Heaven and no courts in Heaven and no traffic violations in Heaven, I should have been asking myself, "Is it worth it? Is Heaven and the sharing in God's glory worth sharing in his suffering?" Will I suffer more willingly and patiently next time knowing that when I share in his suffering, I will also share in his glory?